TONY FAULKNER of the PORTLAND, OREGON DAWKINS-FAULKNERS reports from that fine city of bridges and neo-burlesque…
THE EMERGENCE OF AN INTRIGUING PUBLIC FIGURE
OVER TO TONY:
“Being as how you have a vested interest in such people holding public office, I’m pleased to introduce Steve Novick (if I’m the first Oregonian to share).”
NOVICK, according to his perfectly named website, he is a progressive with “a hard left hook.”
AT THE TENDER AGE OF 14 was he sent loose upon the hard streets of Oregon after the closing of his Junior High School due to budget cuts…
(AS YOU MAY KNOW, Oregon regularly ranks very highly in US News & World Report’s annual MOST DICKENSIAN STATE list)
…BUT RATHER THAN TURN TO A LIFE OF HOOK-HANDED PICKPOCKETING, he instead enrolled IN HARVARD LAW SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 18, later acting as lead counsel in the Love Canal case. AND WHAT’S MORE, he is the only candidate for Senate who begins his official bio with a trivia question–so you know he has my vote.
(NOTE: I CANNOT VOTE IN OREGON)
SHOULD STEVE NOVICK PREVAIL and become a US Senator, he would, under obscure Oregonian law, be but A HOOK-HAND FROM THE PRESIDENCY.
NO MATTER YOUR AFFILIATION AND POLITICAL BELIEFS, I trust you will watch his candidacy with interest.
TONY FAULKNER of the PORTLAND, OREGON DAWKINS-FAULKNERS reports from that fine city of bridges and neo-burlesque…
THE EMERGENCE OF AN INTRIGUING PUBLIC FIGURE
OVER TO TONY:
“Being as how you have a vested interest in such people holding public office, I’m pleased to introduce Steve Novick (if I’m the first Oregonian to share).”
NOVICK, according to his perfectly named website, he is a progressive with “a hard left hook.”
AT THE TENDER AGE OF 14 was he sent loose upon the hard streets of Oregon after the closing of his Junior High School due to budget cuts…
(AS YOU MAY KNOW, Oregon regularly ranks very highly in US News & World Report’s annual MOST DICKENSIAN STATE list)
…BUT RATHER THAN TURN TO A LIFE OF HOOK-HANDED PICKPOCKETING, he instead enrolled IN HARVARD LAW SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 18, later acting as lead counsel in the Love Canal case. AND WHAT’S MORE, he is the only candidate for Senate who begins his official bio with a trivia question–so you know he has my vote.
(NOTE: I CANNOT VOTE IN OREGON)
SHOULD STEVE NOVICK PREVAIL and become a US Senator, he would, under obscure Oregonian law, be but A HOOK-HAND FROM THE PRESIDENCY.
NO MATTER YOUR AFFILIATION AND POLITICAL BELIEFS, I trust you will watch his candidacy with interest.
FROM THE COMMENTS, Molly alerts that Coulton is on YOUTUBE’s “FEATURED VIDEOS” list at this very moment.
WITH THIS AND HIS RECENT EXPOSURE in the Magazine of record, it is clear that my old feral man-child friend has eclipsed my own small measure of renown.
I SUPPOSE FOR THE NEXT BOOK he will just have to tour with the Geico Cavemen.
FROM THE COMMENTS, Molly alerts that Coulton is on YOUTUBE’s “FEATURED VIDEOS” list at this very moment.
WITH THIS AND HIS RECENT EXPOSURE in the Magazine of record, it is clear that my old feral man-child friend has eclipsed my own small measure of renown.
I SUPPOSE FOR THE NEXT BOOK he will just have to tour with the Geico Cavemen.
HERE
is Dutton, publishers of Ken Follett and Darin Strauss
HERE
is Riverhead, publishers of David Rees and The Rza
1781, BATH, ENGLAND: German-born astronomer William Herschel becomes the first modern scientist to discover a new planet within our solar system. He is not taken seriously at first. After all, the three “new planets” he had previously “discovered” turned out to be the sun, a fly on the lens of his telescope, and Earth, respectively. But this time he got it right: Uranus is a planet, and since our last writing, it has been admitted to THE CLUB OF PLANETS. (a) (a). Please see page 147 of The Areas of My Expertise under the heading “The Club of Debated Planets.” — MARCH 13
