HELLO LAZY AND ILLITERATE FRIENDS! Go get a friend to read this imitation blog post to you, because you might find this news interesting.

YES: WE BEGIN RECORDING THE AUDIOBOOK OF “MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE” today.

BY WE, I mean: me and several surprise guests…

SOME OF WHOM will not be a surprise at all (COULTON!);

AND SOME OF WHOM will be a complete surprise… UNLESS YOU CHOSE THE POWER OF INVISIBILITY OVER FLIGHT AND ARE USING IT TO SPY ON ME.

(IN WHICH CASE, I SAY TO YOU: good job. You made the right choice.)

OTHERWISE, I SAY TO YOU: I cannot wait to see you all through the microphone as I record this “read-aloud version of a book for illiterate people and people too lazy to turn pages.”

That is all.

AMELIE, THE HATER, provides this timely bit of tele-arcana from the 1970s:

PLEASE NOTE THE TRUCK DRIVER, who seems to me to be obviously drunk.

That is all.

HOWEVER, if you wish to see a complete and thorough ARCHIVAL MOVING IMAGE of me, COULTON, John Roderick, and Sean Nelson at Town Hall in Seattle…

THEN GOING HERE would be advised.

That is all.

I CANNOT SAY IT OFTEN ENOUGH: Cynthia Hopkins is one of our finest songwriters WITH OR WITHOUT A FALSE PIG’S NOSE

IF YOU DO NOT SEE ONE OF HER REMARKABLE STAGE SHOWS, I fear your life will be poorer.

That is all.

I AM MERELY OVERWHELMED with little tasks in the non-internet world.

I SHALL RETURN.

That is all.