AFTER SOME TIME OF suffering through the anxious nausea alone, I may now tell you:
I WILL BE SPEAKING at the upcoming Radio and Television Correspondents’ Dinner.
AS OF THIS WRITING, I am scheduled to speak after the President of the United States (Barack Obama)
WHICH MAKES SENSE, as I am the most dynamic public speaker of our times.
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SERVING FOR DINNER, but I will tell you.
THAT IS ALL.
1969, DALLAS, TX: The first ATM machine is installed. Standing for “AUTOMATED TELLER MACHINE MACHINE,” the first ATM could receive deposits and dispense cash (though only in coins) and was roughly the size of a city block. Despite its name, it was not wholly automated: A single human controller was required to supervise and make manual notations in the customer’s bankbook. He would sit in a little dome atop the machine. However, this bank employee was instructed to wear a tinfoil suit and talk like a machine so as not to ruin the futuristic effect.
—
At least the gave you an easy opening act to follow…not like that time you had to go after Gallagher…
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I suggest passing a bottle of Malört and singing Surrounded By Friendship.
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Congrats! Perhaps another reading of 700 mole-men names?
Comment by PG — June 16, 2009 @ 11:28 pm
I feel like a reading of 700 hobo names would be more appropriate as one of the hobos (Illinois Obama) will actually be there!
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OH! I forgot about Illinois Obama.
Thank you, Todd.
That is all.
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Comment by hodg-man — June 17, 2009 @ 9:32 am
make sure it’s green beans on the menu and no french stuff.
The can of mushroom soup may make your speech more musical and haltingly lyrical than your plan.
Comment by Winston — June 17, 2009 @ 11:27 am
Perfect. Our plans for infiltration are nearly complete. Just one final piece of the puzzle, which I will provide (it will be under the third fern FROM THE LEFT near the entrance of the grand ballroom – please remember to look to your left, as the secret hidden under the third fern FROM THE RIGHT may destroy us all… that’s for somebody else, I don’t think you know him).
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Because I once had lunch with you at the top of a mountain, I take credit for all of your accomplishments. So congratulations to us!
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like that first time you realized you are not a verb you are a noun. A noun not certain I like the sound of that.
Dosen’t sound like a freight train.
Noun ohh boy o boy o boy.
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Congratulations!
Also, note that a blind Google search for “good evening” results in a top hit of your old blog, but four hits down is THIS blog. You should call Google and have them work this out IN THE NEW BLOG’S FAVOR.
Cheers.
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Comment by Michael L. — June 19, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
I just watched your speech on MSNBC, and I have to say:
I love you.
Please marry me.
(PS: Obama is SO the Kwizatz Haderach!)
Comment by Newbia — June 19, 2009 @ 8:37 pm
That was AMAZING. I watched it with my parents who enjoyed it, even though they didn’t get any of the Dune references.
Anyone know of a (legal) place to get it online?
Comment by Michael W — June 19, 2009 @ 9:43 pm
Great job, John. Got the Dune references, no prob. Love you on the Daily Show as well!
Comment by Leslie Basden — June 19, 2009 @ 10:34 pm
Many thanks for drawing attention to DUNE (r.o. WaterOfLife/thumper/[religious]Shai-Halud [vernacular]maker), IMHO a sadly underestimated repository of wisdom if ever there was. Your Irulan remark was perfection. Kudos for D.C. work. We’re lucky you’re among us, indeed. Best always. “All virtuoso skills are inherantly unstable” — J.P. Gustafson
Comment by GABProctor — June 19, 2009 @ 11:03 pm
[from the Washington Post:]“Hodgman also embarked on a “Dune” tangent that was met with laughter from approximately five people, whom he acknowledged warmly.”
You know what I read there? I read not that Mr. Hodgman “wandered” or “stumbled” or “tottered” or “walked arrhythmically” toward a Dune tangent. I read that Mr. Hodgman embarked — like a bold explorer, like a thinking comedian in the vein of Magellan and Pytheas — on a journey of peril and glory, fearless of silence and a doubting audience, toward allusion and dreaded metaphor. And while seas were choppy and the weather was fierce, John de la Hodgman crossed that sandy landscape, scaled the remote peak, and stood upon its summit in a tux and gin sweats, triumphant, with five other nerds.
password: livelier tions.
Comment by Stardate — June 20, 2009 @ 8:45 am
Not only was your speech a heaping bowl of awesome. Not only was it funny and full of truth. But this is the second speech I’ve heard where you took me on a journey, through a world I’m familiar with, lightheartedly laughing along the way, only to find the destination you had in mind full of hope, acceptance, excitement and love.
(Yes, I’m comparing this to your TED talk, which was one of the greatest talks since vocal chords met flapping gums)
Your the first person in front of any camera who summed up why I like Obama, I don’t agree with everything, and surly there will be many (more) disappointments to go along with happy dances, this is government after all, and I don’t even agree with my Bride 100% of the time, much less someone who would want to be president of the US! To think differently is to live in Crazytown! (which seems to be having a population explosion of late)
Anyway, once again, you summed it up perfectly and I thank you for following your bliss, because you have certainly done your part to create bliss in other people.
Now ecuse me, today I’m experimenting comparing charcoal cookery with deep frying beef franks to see if I can find zen in my quest for crispy hot dogs.
Comment by Aaron Bruchis — June 20, 2009 @ 10:29 am
You privledged them all right, he privledged them in long cars.
Comment by Winston — June 20, 2009 @ 10:35 am
The speech was amazing. Watched it twice. Please post the video so I can watch it anytime.
Comment by David Meerman Scott — June 20, 2009 @ 11:35 am
That was an amazing speech. Congratulations!
Comment by Alex — June 20, 2009 @ 11:46 am
I loved your speech last night! I’m still debating which Hobo symbol tattoo to get. The bruise has healed, by the way.
-Stephanie
Baltimore, MD
Comment by Stephanie — June 20, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
Beautiful speech Mr. Hodgman. The only thing more impressive than the actual speech was your delivery. Thank you, for everything you said last night.
-BJ
Carlsbad,Ca.
Comment by Binaryjohn — June 20, 2009 @ 12:15 pm
John…how do you do that? You’re good, you’re very good. Looks like the Prez really enjoyed it, too. So refreshing to have this kind of discourse after eight years of cowboy boots, and vacant stares.
Comment by BrokenArrow — June 20, 2009 @ 1:10 pm
Bravo, Mr. Hodgman, bravo. Crom’s eye shines brightly upon you this day.
Comment by MP — June 20, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
Great job Mr. Hodgman but we Battlestar Gallactica nerds would have preferred “so say we all” to “live long and prosper”!
Comment by Susan — June 20, 2009 @ 3:50 pm
Inspirational
Comment by Ken — June 20, 2009 @ 3:57 pm
Excellent, excellent speech Mr. Hodgman. Really really well done.
Comment by Blank — June 20, 2009 @ 5:41 pm
I love you. But you knew that.
Comment by Hodgmama — June 20, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
May i say, i have just finished with your presentation before the President. I stand in awe of people such as Bill Clinton, whose capabilities in public speaking still amaze. Your own work here is quite, quite outstanding. Absolutely exceptional speaking.
Comment by Si — June 21, 2009 @ 8:41 am
John Hodgman, you were absolutely delightful at the Radio/TV Correspondents’ Dinner. I hope you’re proud of yourself, because you should be. I both shrieked with laughter and was moved by your thoughtfulness. What a well-crafted piece of comedy. Thank you!
Comment by Mandi — June 21, 2009 @ 1:09 pm
Well by now everyone has seen the speech. Just wanted to say kudos, excellent speech, I really enjoyed it.
Comment by Annie — June 21, 2009 @ 1:21 pm
Awesome speech Hodgman! Very refreshing!
Comment by maxmiles — June 21, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
Maybe Obama’s not a typeface nerd, but at least he had the sense to hire some typeface nerds for his campaign. Peace and long life.
Comment by Brian Ward — June 21, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
Very, very entertaining and creative speech, delivered wonderfully. A bit risky to quiz the President publicly, I would imagine, but he was game.
So, do you still play violin and clarinet, was it? Or one of them? (Or was it viola?)
Comment by anotherbozo — June 21, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
Just absolutely wonderful. Great writing, great delivery. That Nerd Czar appointment is as good as yours.
Comment by Ben — June 21, 2009 @ 8:44 pm
Caught you on Keith tonight . Your BSG references made my day! Thank you for making me smile.
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