SOMEONE IS GOING TO THROW KNIVES AT JONATHAN AMES
IF YOU ARE A FAN OF KNIFE THROWING
and
YOU ALSO WANT TO SEE JONATHAN AMES STABBED WITH A KNIFE
then
because
THE KNIFE THROWER KNOWN AS “THROWDINI” is “the fastest and most accurate impalement artist” in the world, and so will only be throwing knives NEAR Jonathan Ames, and not INTO HIM.
BUT IT WILL STILL BE FUN to go and celebrate the release of his new book of essays and stories, including one, called “BORED TO DEATH,” which is being made into an HBO TV show in which I make a small appearance pretending to punch and be punched by Jason Schwartzman.
It’s happening TOMORROW, a Thursday, July 16, at 7PM at Book Court.
THE GREAT “ONE RING ZERO” will also be there, not being hit by knives.
BUT ALAS: I WILL NOT BE THERE. I am still in the Internetless Hills, keeping things SLOW here and BORING on twitter.
IF YOU WANT MORE EXCITING BOREDOM THAN THIS, you can join in on the comments.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE
That is all.
Wish I could throw knives…
Comment by genorariley — July 15, 2009 @ 10:26 am
Would anyone object if I paid you to shill for the software I need to finish? How about other software products? Please let me know what you can and can’t do commercially? No sentient life forms will be harmed, as far as we know.
Comment by James Salsman — July 15, 2009 @ 10:29 am
I didn’t mean “shill” I meant “hawk” but I’m a peacenik so I naturally wouldn’t use that word. Please email me.
Comment by James Salsman — July 15, 2009 @ 10:31 am
Now I’m Bored. Is this contagious?
Comment by Lugoves — July 15, 2009 @ 10:40 am
May I request an automated mechanic amalgamation of a nail gun modified to shoot knives and a web cam with a flash interface from which we could click our mice buttons to shoot knives at Jonathan?
Comment by Tal — July 15, 2009 @ 10:54 am
‘THE GREAT “ONE RING ZERO” will also be there, not being hit by knives.’
This should read
‘THE GREAT “ONE RING ZERO” will also be there, also not being hit by knives.’
Note the “also”. Since you’ve mentioned other people, but not saying they’re also not being hit, then the implication is that after all, someone will be hit, but you’re leaving it ambiguous who.
that is all.
Comment by Craig Steffen — July 15, 2009 @ 11:06 am
As far as knife throwers go, I’m partial to my friend <a href=”http://www.jackdagger.com/”.Jack Dagger.
captcha = started khmer (No, I didn’t.)
Comment by Colleenky — July 15, 2009 @ 11:34 am
Can I have your autograph?
Comment by the minimo — July 15, 2009 @ 1:17 pm
Since you enjoy One Ring Zero and since it is summer, have you heard the fun little album by Michael Hearst of that band, entitled “Songs For Ice Cream Trucks?” It is full of instrumentation that could be reproduced reasonably well by the ever-tinny speakers of the ice cream delivery vehicles.
You may find it amusing; I know I do.
Comment by Chris W. — July 15, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
It is never a goodthing when she says honey I want to show you an outfit that would look great on you, ever.
Comment by Pete — July 15, 2009 @ 4:54 pm
I didn’t have anything to say, but saw this captcha: sorrow booker. Steady gig, sort of a downer.
Comment by Stardate — July 15, 2009 @ 5:12 pm
Well, let’s set the record straight. I will be throwing knives AROUND Jonathan ending with a straw being cut that he’s holding in his teeth. All this to symbolically represent a ribbon cutting re. his new book. Come on down and see it happen.
The Great Throwdini
Comment by Throwdini — July 16, 2009 @ 7:38 am
outfit is what a fey roadeo clown does when he shops for a kerchief at Barneys.
Comment by Pete — July 16, 2009 @ 7:04 pm
To genorariley (first poster)
What’s stopping you from throwing knives? I do it all the time. I could cut a straw hanging out of someone’s mouth… eventually… I’d need a lot more knives though.
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I had chowder at the new england aquarium it tasted like the tank.
Comment by ED — July 22, 2009 @ 8:39 pm
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Trackback by soroziw — August 6, 2009 @ 11:46 am
Hello: This is Hugh Lafferty. I used to visit Hodgman all the time. I mean on his Blogger blog, not in real life (because of how he screams and runs away every time I approach). I have not posted in a very long time since my wife Gladys accidentally wall-papered me into our living room wall last summer (Thanks to our youngest child’s sharp left eye, Gladys finally caught her error just the other day).
Anyway, I was very glad to see that the Great Throwdini is still performing, because, I am proud to say, I was his personal assistant a long time ago, back in the beginning of his career, when he was just getting started and not very accurate at throwing knives.
Shortly after I started working as Throwdini’s assistant, I sprang leaks every time I took a drink, earned the nickname “Scar” and became a favored Red Cross donor. Though I had to resign (massive blood loss), to this day, I carry very many fond mementos upon my person of our rewarding association to the delight of many plastic surgeons.
Thank you for your help.
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