BASES-BALL
IF YOU ARE CONCERNED that, by attending tonight’s reading at Barnes and Noble in Union Sq at 7PM, you might miss parts of the BIG BASES-BALL game tonight, fear not.
I WILL BE UPDATING YOU WITH ALL THE SCORES, ball-hittings, man-tagging, camera-striking, advertising, and other play-by-play excitement all night long,
AND MOSTLY BEFORE THE GAME EVEN BEGINS.
MEANWHILE, if you were wondering who took the photo of me holding a skull full of vodka in the back of the new paperback, HIS NAME IS SETH OLENICK.
HE HAS A “tum-blog” with a profane name I cannot print here; but it contains many good photographs of actual comedians, plus one of me, HITTING A CAR IN THE FACE.
That is all.
Giving a car what-for, wearing tuxedo pants. A very classy come-uppance for that no-good-nik vehicle. Thank you for your service.
Comment by Cori — November 4, 2009 @ 12:53 pm
At first glance I assumed you were falling into the car, having drunk too much of the ol’ skull juice at your latest tuxedoed shindig. Speaking of which, I couldn’t help but notice you wore dress shoes on The Daily Show the other day. It seems like you’re becoming almost too distinguished to function in normal or ‘muggle’ society.
Comment by Kim — November 4, 2009 @ 1:38 pm
Dear Mr. Hodgman:
Clearly, you are not only the Smartest Man I Have Ever Known, you are also the *Strongest* Man I Have Ever Known! There is no doubt in the vast echo-chamber of my brain that you have Fists of Steel . . . or at least a Right Fist of Steel.
The dynamic photo-picture of you employing your Super Powers has sparked many questions in my busy brain. (And I can always tell when I am thinking hard: My wife Gladys stuffs cotton in her ears.)
Question No. 1: What vitamins or other dietary supplements do you ingest that give you such Mighty Strength? (Gladys mixes a substance she refers to as “valium” into my scrambled eggs. She claims that it makes me stronger, but it seems to have little effect beyond making Barney the Dinosaur boring.)
Question Number Two: I have heard the term “Power Suit” used in certain contexts. By any chance, is that suit you are wearing a “Super Power Suit”? If so, where can I get one? Right now, my Power Suit is underpants, towel cape and t-shirt for when I go out to the garden to contact the Mole Men, who, beyond an occasional shift in the soil, are very shy around me. Perhaps with a Super Power Suit like you are wearing, the Mole Men will no longer be afraid to speak to me.
Question Number Three: What sparked your violent encounter with the automobile? I have no doubt, of course, that it struck the first blow. How did it respond to your retaliatory strike? Did it later attempt to run you down from ambush as you were walking home? Or did it run whimpering to the safety of the nearest garage (like the Sniveling Coward we *all* know it is)?
Recently, I bravely confronted a 2004 Chevy SUV in the middle of Market Street in San Francisco. Sad to say, I did not emerge the victor. Who is to say that if I had been wearing a Super Power Suit just like yours, the outcome would not have been different? (And do not listen to Gladys regarding this matter: Every other word out of her mouth is “no.”)
I am sure that I have given you much to think about and, as always, I look forward to your sage advice.
Thank you for your help.
Comment by Hugh Lafferty — November 4, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
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