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1962, WASHINGTON DC: On the 160th anniversary of Napoléon’s first moon landing, JFK launches the first robotic mission to the moon. The mission of the robots? To collect moon rocks to use in the first staged moon landing.
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Rush to your nearest neighborhood Liquor Stop and pick up a quart of HodgMan’s Malort Liqueur (and then pay for it)! You will be glad you did!
Take it from me, Hugh Lafferty, non-Celebrity Product Endorser: I quaffed a bottle of HodgMan last evening at the HodgMan Liqueur Tasting held at the Herbst Theatre in San Francisco, promoting the publication of his new book “More Information Than You Require About All 859 of the World’s Liqueurs”!
HodgMan’s Malort Liqueur (distilled by sybaritic monks) is a finely balanced liqueur that dances across the tongue with the tang of a Minor Television Personality combined with fresh paint thinner! Add to that the bouquet of a newly purchased MAC (that “new computer smell”) and the chewy, nutty aftertaste of a three-piece corderuoy suit (with track shoes, though you may wish to remove the shoelaces)and you have a Liqueur for the Ages . . . between 21 and 38 years old!
The fumes from HodgMan’s Malort Liqueur instilled in me such joyous inebriation, I nearly fell out of the balcony on my way to the lobby at the evening’s conclusion and, to HodgMan’s bemused delight, passed out across the autography table! (HodgMan, beaming with hilarity, quipped to My Downstairs Neighbor, “You had better get him home!”)
Try HodgMan’s Malort Liqueur before I type another exclamation point! You will love every drop, AND you will further one man’s career as a Non-Celebrity Endorser!
Thank you for your help.
Comment by Hugh Lafferty — November 8, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
I have nothing to add, except to say that everything above this comment is brilliant.
Comment by Kim — November 9, 2009 @ 12:19 pm
sadly, this is the only post tagged malort.
Comment by alex — November 9, 2009 @ 10:20 pm
Worst kept “secret” “show” ever. Note to self: don’t tell Hodg-Man any secrets.
Comment by John H. — November 10, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
I think this is so good. I want a drink of it.
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Comment by james lee — March 3, 2010 @ 2:30 pm