BECAUSE I am a Famous Minor Television Personality, I do not merely use the Internet.
SOMETIMES THE INTERNET COMES DIRECTLY TO MY HOUSE. As you will see below.
I ENJOYED VERY MUCH the visit from Alex and Kevin Internet. You should invite them over!
That is all.
1969, DALLAS, TX: The first ATM machine is installed. Standing for “AUTOMATED TELLER MACHINE MACHINE,” the first ATM could receive deposits and dispense cash (though only in coins) and was roughly the size of a city block. Despite its name, it was not wholly automated: A single human controller was required to supervise and make manual notations in the customer’s bankbook. He would sit in a little dome atop the machine. However, this bank employee was instructed to wear a tinfoil suit and talk like a machine so as not to ruin the futuristic effect.
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I will only invite The Brothers Internet into my home if they provide beer as illustrated in your photo. And, who won the checkers tournament?
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Perhaps on the third book, a photo of a ferret holding you.
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Pingback by World News » Good Evening » THE INTERNET VISITS MY HOME — December 2, 2009 @ 3:53 pm
Does this mean that, of all things, the PC uses a Mac?
Egad!
Comment by Casey the loyal — December 2, 2009 @ 4:01 pm
HodgMan:
I was very interested to learn that you employ Stunt Doubles and Look-alikes whom you send to such faraway places as South America. I would like to ask you the following questions:
1) How many Stunt Doubles do employ?
2) Are they genetic clones? Androids? A combination of the two? Were they reproduced by natural means, asexually or in a test tube or petri dish? Perhaps a storm-haunted castle on a high mountain peak? (I sometimes grow a hump on my back, so if it is that last location, I may be the laboratory assistant for you!)
3) Where do they live? Do they all live with you while awaiting their assignments? If they are anything like that Nude Furniture . . . well, we certainly have already discussed that, haven’t we?
4) What are their names? (I cannot imagine them all being named “John HodgMan,” especially if they live in your house along with your wife and children. Then again, a Stunt Double is essential for many potentially injurious household tasks. The wife will never know that is not the *real* you unstopping the toilet!)
The reason I am asking these questions is that my wife, Gladys, wishes to send me on vacation to the Arctic Circle over the Christmas holiday, but I think sending one of those “Stunt Doubles” you referred to would be much safer.
Thank you for your help.
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I haven’t seen you in anything other then the Mac Adds, I must say that you cracked me up today on Diggnation. I didn’t know you were so full of fake facts, I too dabble in the world of making up facts. I promptly bought your books after watching the show. I’ve only been in the factoid department for a couple months. http://www.factoidoftheday.com. It is far from the complete book of world knowledge.
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Comment by sdram — December 5, 2009 @ 4:42 am
That was an outstanding and entertaining appearance on diggnation, Mr. Hodgman. My only observation is that it seemed Kevin was lost a bit at some of the cultural references – that everyone else in the room seemed to “get.” Stellar performance on your part.
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I could see your look of utter horror and disbelief as Kevin read aloud the unfortunate advice given him re: Jack Russel terriers. In the vet clinic I used to work in, we called them “Jerk Russels Terrors” for a reason. In true Hodg-man fashion, you provide the CORRECT answer: rescue!
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