I AM VERY GRATEFUL.

HOWEVER, I realize that some of you may be saying:

“I LIKE ALL THESE FAKE FACTS, but I am sorry that I cannot pay money for them, and also hear them all at once, FOR HOURS.”

SO I WOULD BE REMISS in not pointing out that the ENTIRETY of “Today In The Past” is also included on the full AUDIOBACK EDITION of the book.

NOT TO MENTION:

MANY MORE FAKE FACTS

INCREDIBLE GUESTS including Coulton! Maddow! F Tompkins! Dick Cavett! Ira Glass! Vowell! Galifianakis! Gervais!

AND YOUR NARRATOR: Paul Rudd.

AND ALSO: 700 mole-man names, recorded before a live studio audience, UNDER THE GROUND.

SERIOUSLY: I am very proud of this effort, and especially the effort of the astonishing actual talents who made it happen, IMPLAUSIBLY ENOUGH.

AND I WOULD BE REMISS in not pointing this out, since some do not seem to believe it.

BUT NOW I WILL SAY NO MORE

That is all.

BUT FOR NOW, I will only answer THREE of them.

ANSWER ONE: the paperback edition of MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE will be available for you to purchase on NOVEMBER 3 of this year (2009).

As with my first book of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, this low-cost, much more flimsy SOFTCOVER edition will feature many UPDATES AND ERRATA.

IT WILL NOT INCLUDE any more HOBO NAMES or MOLE-MAN NAMES.

IT WILL INCLUDE 44 more PRESIDENT NAMES.

ANSWER TWO: the paperless (or “AUDIOBOOK”) edition of MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE will be available for you to purchase EVEN EARLIER, on OCTOBER 29.

THE REASON FOR THE DISCREPANCY BETWEEN THESE DATES IS MYSTERIOUS!

MANY GUESTS joined me in the “recordo-pod” for this trip around the turntable, including the legendary super-group: CAVETT, COULTON, GALIFIANAKIS, GLASS, GOLDWASSER, GERVAIS, MADDOW, RUDD, F. TOMPKINS, & VOWELL (or as they were known when they used to play stadiums in the seventies, CCGGGGMRFT&V)

PLUS: all 700 MOLE-MAN NAMES as they were recorded LIVE BEFORE A STUDIO AUDIENCE in a lair beneath UNION HALL, in Brooklyn, NY.

ANSWER THREE: I will be visiting various cities and townships in America to present material from these two editions.

AND WHAT’S MORE, they are listed over there in the box marked “TODAY… IN THE FUTURE.”

That is all.

AROUND THAT SAME TIME, the audiobook of the same will be released in both DIGITAL and SHINY LASER DRINK COASTER form.

WHILE THE PAPERBACK sadly features only me and my dumb words again, the audiobook allowed me to invite a small group of friends to contribute and, thus, SHARE THE BLAME (and also the red bull and the absinthe).

THESE PEOPLE INCLUDE:

MR. Jonathan Coulton!
MR. Dick Cavett!
DOCTOR Rachel Maddow!
MR. Paul F Tompkins!
MR. Zach Galifianakis
MR. MYSTERY GUEST!

AND the return of RUDD!

PLUS: expert title and chart narration by Ms. Robin “Goldie” Goldwasser, AS BEFORE!

IT’S NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO FORGET HOW TO LEARN TO READ!

I will give you some tour dates soon.

THAT IS ALL.

MORE DAYS OF SAME to come, but it has been a delightful thrill so far. A THRILL CONTAINED IN A VERY SMALL, HOT, AIRLESS ROOM so that the thrill cannot escape.

YESTERDAY I WORE A TUXEDO in the booth, and I did my imitation of a ukulele-ist as well. I regret there are no photos of this, though plenty others exist.

BUT LET ME PAUSE NOW and say:

FRIENDS, IF YOU SUFFER FROM POOR MOOD AND ILL CONFIDENCE, you could do worse than walk around in a tuxedo with a UKULELE. It is a marvelous combination, which I dubbed on Twitter the TUXUKE, until enough members of the twitter HIVE MIND pointed out that that sounds like some sort of Japanese tuxedo/ukulele porn.

IT MADE ME RECALL that I don’t recall if Dent May rocked the full TUXULELE when we both appeared at the great THACKER MOUNTAIN RADIO in Oxford, MS last fall. But he clearly does own a tuxedo, as THIS EMBEDDED MEDIA will prove.

THAT IS ALL.

YES: WE BEGIN RECORDING THE AUDIOBOOK OF “MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE” today.

BY WE, I mean: me and several surprise guests…

SOME OF WHOM will not be a surprise at all (COULTON!);

AND SOME OF WHOM will be a complete surprise… UNLESS YOU CHOSE THE POWER OF INVISIBILITY OVER FLIGHT AND ARE USING IT TO SPY ON ME.

(IN WHICH CASE, I SAY TO YOU: good job. You made the right choice.)

OTHERWISE, I SAY TO YOU: I cannot wait to see you all through the microphone as I record this “read-aloud version of a book for illiterate people and people too lazy to turn pages.”

That is all.