I AM GLAD Obama has pleased the eccentric midnight voting gods of Mount New Hampshire,

AND AS A FAKE TRIVIA-IST, I am charmed by our country’s wildly diverse, weird, and insomniac voting schemes.

BUT I WOULD GIVE IT UP ALL UP for a simple, consistent, nationwide procedure for Federal elections, plus a national holiday on the day.

FOR THERE IS no question in my mind that all these voter ID requirements, variable hours, and wildly different voting machines and techniques are designed to passively suppress turnout.

ESPECIALLY WHEN I have developed the best voting machine of all, which everyone should use:

"THE BEST FAKE AUTOMATON FOR VOTING"

Much, MUCH better than this piece of garbage.

SEE YOU AT THE POLLS

That is all.