THE FOLLOWING NON-BLOG ENTRY pertains to the Twittering you see in the upper right hand corner of this NON-BLOG.

SPECIFICALLY, I SUGGESTED that the reason there is no annoying, twee, foodie rap styling comparable to nerdcore is that no good rhyme exists to match the words:

“I’VE GOT MORE GUTS THAN FERGUS HENDERSON.”

ONCE AGAIN, the hive mind disagreed with me and set to prove me wrong. Here are some of my favorite rhymes, Twitterian punctuation preserved.

–SUBMITTED BY TWITTER-ER coleenky: “She had no thyme, so I thought I’d lend her some.”

NB: I think we must agree that thyme is the chronic of twee, foodie rap.

–SUBMITTED BY TWITTER-ER kungfoodie: “…im suckin down foie gras like nobody’s business then.”

NB: Kungfoodie then continued to freestyle on to a second twitter. I can’t quite follow the meter of it, but she gets credit for esoterica and the only bone marrow reference of the bunch.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT

“I be eatin haggis and brawn – mah huntsman stuffed in 7 grain brown/shut yo trap – you be up in your frisée – spankin organics – while i’m cruisin down high street – suckin the marrow with mah man.”

END QUOTED TEXT

–SUBMITTED BY TWITTER-ER jimmyfallon, in the least-expected contributor category: “Geezers on the hill eatin’ Cadbury’s with Venison.”

NB: While there were many contributions that used venison, the gamiest of rhymes, like Kungfoodie, Fallon gets credit for MAD ANGOLPHILIA.

–SUBMITTED BY TWITTER-ER byrneout: “…I’m the pan your fat ass renders in.”

NB: Simple and believable. As sublimely plain as a recipe by the man himself. A good lunch.

***

THERE WERE SO MANY OTHERS, and I really must express my gratitude to all those who wrote back (especially those who were knowledgeable enough, yet restrained enough, not to make the rhyme “Parkinson’s”, which I honestly had not considered.)

UNFORTUNATELY, I had to disqualify the many fine entries that ended with “Felix Mendelssohn,” for that is a rhyme more suited to the genre of Romantic Period composer rap.

SIMILARLY, it pained me to disqualify adtothebone’s admirably arcane, but ultimately extraneous use of “widdershins,” as well as jaydeflix’s submission: “I’ve got guts like Fergus Henderson/laid’em out in the soysauce so they be tenderin’/Gonna wok them up and then play the theremin.”

BELIEVE ME, I’m willing to forgive any off-topic theremin reference. And arguably the soy sauce might act as a brine, and thus perform a very modest tenderizing action upon the guts, whatever they may be.

BUT THE FLAVOR here is too Asian for a Fergus Henderson rap. And also: it sounds disgusting.

That is all.