STAND BY FOR BULLETIN ONE

BULLETIN ONE:

AS YOU PROBABLY DON’T KNOW, today is “RED NOSE DAY” in the UK (this is a small country like Rhode Island, but with a Queen).

RED NOSE DAY is a biannual event in which comedians and also normal people wear clown noses all day long in order to raise money for COMIC RELIEF.

WE HAVEN’T HEARD MUCH ABOUT COMIC RELIEF over here since the last time Billy, Robin, and Whoopi wore sweatshirts. But in the UK it remains a vibrant charity that funds all sorts of youth and anti-poverty programs throughout the world, and inspires episodes of THE OFFICE, which in turn inspires BRITISH COMEDY NERDS like Ken Plume to wonder, WHY NOT HERE?

AS SUCH, PLUMEY and many other folks are holding an internet telethon today, a kind of RED NOSE DAY IN EXILE, beginning at 12 noon EST, and going for about 24 hours.

AND BECAUSE I AM A CHARITABLE PERSON, I have agreed to stop by and annoy him about it ALL DAY LONG. I hope you will stop by and join me, and perhaps DONATE. Take it from me: annoying Ken Plume is very amusing.

(BY THE WAY, did you know that Ken Plume once claimed that, given the choice, he would prefer to lose a finger rather than lose a toe EVEN THOUGH HIS WHOLE JOB INVOLVES SITTING AT THE INTERNET ALL DAY TYPING? He cited “balance issues.” Ask him about this, and WATCH HIM GO!)

NOW STAND BY FOR BULLETIN 2…

BULLETIN 2 INCOMING:

AS PER YESTERDAY’S IMITATION OF A BLOG POST, a reader and ukulelist and PROFESSIONAL BUSKER (!) named Ian Schwartz brought to my attention the TV show HEROES‘ reference to the age old question FLIGHT vs. INVISIBILTY.

IT REMINDED ME OF THE TIME THE OC referenced Mr. Chuck Klosterman, long ago, and I challenged Schwartz to find evidence of my own poor memory.

I AM SURE IT DOES NOT SURPRISE YOU LEARN that Schwartz has triumphed:

I WILL SEND HIM A SIGNED COPY OF MY BOOK, and also a few coins to throw in his ukulele case, and as well

MY ENDLESS THANKS.

AND NOW, some music to annoy Ken Plume by from THE SOUR CANDY ORCHESTRA, Schwartz’s busking band of ukuleles and woodwinders:

REALLY IAN? You carry all of those instruments down into the subway? EVEN THE GIANT UKULELE THAT GIRL IS PLAYING WITH THE BOW?

That is all.

MR. KEN PLUME, an internet journalist, podcaster, Gervaisian, QI activist, man who would choose to save his own toe over his own finger, and a fond acquaintance, writes with A SMALL REQUEST.

AS THANKSGIVING APPROACHES, I hope you will consider it.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT:

I’m not really known for my moments of seriousness and personal candor here in cyberspace,  so this missive will come as a bit of a surprise for those who know me well.

Four years ago, right before the holidays, the doctor found a lump in my mother’s breast. After surgery intended to remove the lump discovered deeper penetration, a second operation was scheduled to remove her left breast. It was right after Thanksgiving.

Months of chemotherapy followed, and my mother was given a clean bill and told the cancer was gone. After a few more months of recovery, she began counting the months and years that would bring her to that magic number for cancer survivors – 5 years out. Expecting she was well on her way towards that goal, she had the port that was surgically installed to deliver her chemotherapy removed earlier this year. After all, she was almost 4 years cancer free, with only one year to go.

And then, nearly four years to the day when the original cancer was found, another lump was discovered in her right breast. Surgery was performed, and the biopsy came back positive for cancer.

The bitch was back.

It was also found that the cancer had metastasized. Tests have been performed. Chemotherapy has begun again. Hopes are high that the bitch can be beat back into remission, leaving my mother many, many more years with her husband, children, and grandchildren.

She did it once, and she’ll do it again.

However, I want to keep my mother’s spirits up, and I want to utilize the power of this here internet to whom my livelihood has been intertwined for almost 15 years. And not only am I hoping for the assistance of the thousands of people whom I’ve befriended and worked with in those years, but also the kindness of total strangers.

With that in mind, I’m hoping that whoever reads this post – or has it forwarded to them – will take some of their valuable time and help me keep my mother’s spirits bright and her outlook optimistic.

Over the course of this holiday season, I’m hoping my mother will receive an avalanche of postcards from around the world – fun and funny postcards – with the well wishes of those who send them. Postcards sent by you, the person reading this now.

And, in addition to the postcards – if you have the inclination and means – please take a moment to make a donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Please send your postcards to:

PAT PLUME
808 BARN ST.
JACKSONVILLE, NC 28540

On behalf of myself and my family, I thank you all.

END QUOTED TEXT

Thank you.

THAT IS ALL.