BECAUSE I am a Famous Minor Television Personality, I do not merely use the Internet.

SOMETIMES THE INTERNET COMES DIRECTLY TO MY HOUSE. As you will see below.

I ENJOYED VERY MUCH the visit from Alex and Kevin Internet. You should invite them over!

That is all.

THANK YOU, everyone, for making the TODAY-IN-THE-PAST-CAST the number 2 best “selling” podcast on iTunes, IMPLAUSIBLY ENOUGH.

I AM VERY GRATEFUL.

HOWEVER, I realize that some of you may be saying:

“I LIKE ALL THESE FAKE FACTS, but I am sorry that I cannot pay money for them, and also hear them all at once, FOR HOURS.”

SO I WOULD BE REMISS in not pointing out that the ENTIRETY of “Today In The Past” is also included on the full AUDIOBACK EDITION of the book.

NOT TO MENTION:

MANY MORE FAKE FACTS

INCREDIBLE GUESTS including Coulton! Maddow! F Tompkins! Dick Cavett! Ira Glass! Vowell! Galifianakis! Gervais!

AND YOUR NARRATOR: Paul Rudd.

AND ALSO: 700 mole-man names, recorded before a live studio audience, UNDER THE GROUND.

SERIOUSLY: I am very proud of this effort, and especially the effort of the astonishing actual talents who made it happen, IMPLAUSIBLY ENOUGH.

AND I WOULD BE REMISS in not pointing this out, since some do not seem to believe it.

BUT NOW I WILL SAY NO MORE

That is all.

MANY OF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS. They are reasonable, and I will get to them all SOME DAY.

BUT FOR NOW, I will only answer THREE of them.

ANSWER ONE: the paperback edition of MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE will be available for you to purchase on NOVEMBER 3 of this year (2009).

As with my first book of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, this low-cost, much more flimsy SOFTCOVER edition will feature many UPDATES AND ERRATA.

IT WILL NOT INCLUDE any more HOBO NAMES or MOLE-MAN NAMES.

IT WILL INCLUDE 44 more PRESIDENT NAMES.

ANSWER TWO: the paperless (or “AUDIOBOOK”) edition of MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE will be available for you to purchase EVEN EARLIER, on OCTOBER 29.

THE REASON FOR THE DISCREPANCY BETWEEN THESE DATES IS MYSTERIOUS!

MANY GUESTS joined me in the “recordo-pod” for this trip around the turntable, including the legendary super-group: CAVETT, COULTON, GALIFIANAKIS, GLASS, GOLDWASSER, GERVAIS, MADDOW, RUDD, F. TOMPKINS, & VOWELL (or as they were known when they used to play stadiums in the seventies, CCGGGGMRFT&V)

PLUS: all 700 MOLE-MAN NAMES as they were recorded LIVE BEFORE A STUDIO AUDIENCE in a lair beneath UNION HALL, in Brooklyn, NY.

ANSWER THREE: I will be visiting various cities and townships in America to present material from these two editions.

AND WHAT’S MORE, they are listed over there in the box marked “TODAY… IN THE FUTURE.”

That is all.

I WAS GOING TO POST THIS merely for its historic value, which is considerable:

RACHEL MADDOW AND DALE DEGROFF DISCUSSING COCKTAILS

BUT THEN I get to the end, and Maddow pulls off a smarty-pants, cocktail nerd maneuver of such incredible dexterity that I basically want to give up the smarty-pants business now.

COMPARED TO HER, we all look like vodka and red bull in a shame glass.

AND MEANWHILE, it is so: I will be joining Tom Scharpling for THE BEST SHOW ON WFMU tonight.

That is all.