MR. DICK CAVETT and I have more in common than merely my audioback book.

WITNESS:

THAT IS ALL.

SOMETIMES THE INTERNET COMES DIRECTLY TO MY HOUSE. As you will see below.

I ENJOYED VERY MUCH the visit from Alex and Kevin Internet. You should invite them over!

That is all.

I AM VERY GRATEFUL.

HOWEVER, I realize that some of you may be saying:

“I LIKE ALL THESE FAKE FACTS, but I am sorry that I cannot pay money for them, and also hear them all at once, FOR HOURS.”

SO I WOULD BE REMISS in not pointing out that the ENTIRETY of “Today In The Past” is also included on the full AUDIOBACK EDITION of the book.

NOT TO MENTION:

MANY MORE FAKE FACTS

INCREDIBLE GUESTS including Coulton! Maddow! F Tompkins! Dick Cavett! Ira Glass! Vowell! Galifianakis! Gervais!

AND YOUR NARRATOR: Paul Rudd.

AND ALSO: 700 mole-man names, recorded before a live studio audience, UNDER THE GROUND.

SERIOUSLY: I am very proud of this effort, and especially the effort of the astonishing actual talents who made it happen, IMPLAUSIBLY ENOUGH.

AND I WOULD BE REMISS in not pointing this out, since some do not seem to believe it.

BUT NOW I WILL SAY NO MORE

That is all.

IT WAS A LOVELY VISIT with both Lawrence Weschler at the Humanities Festival

AND OF COURSE, the late night Malort club.

I GO TO ANN ARBOR NOW to say hello to the ancient BORDERS #1.

MEANWHILE, I STAND CORRECTED. As per @nickcatal, the photo of me in a viper from my FIRST visit to space is indeed on the Internet.

THAT IS ALL

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT yesterday.

HERE is moving image of me a) drinking Fresca and b) attempting to kick Fresca bottle off of John Sellers’s head,

JUST LIKE MY LABEL-MATE THE RZA DID, except not Fresca, and certainly not WHILE INSIDE A CAR.

That is all.

I WILL BE UPDATING YOU WITH ALL THE SCORES, ball-hittings, man-tagging, camera-striking, advertising, and other play-by-play excitement all night long,

AND MOSTLY BEFORE THE GAME EVEN BEGINS.

MEANWHILE, if you were wondering who took the photo of me holding a skull full of vodka in the back of the new paperback, HIS NAME IS SETH OLENICK.

HE HAS A “tum-blog” with a profane name I cannot print here; but it contains many good photographs of actual comedians, plus one of me, HITTING A CAR IN THE FACE.

That is all.

THE PAPERBACK edition of MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE;

THE AUDIOBACK edition of same;

and demonstrating A COMPLETE, WORKING, THREE PIECE CORDUROY SUIT.

THIS IS FATED TO OCCUR at 7PM at the Barnes and Noble in Union Square,

TO BE FOUND at 33 East 17th Street between Broadway and Park Avenue South, in MANHATTAN, an island off the coast of Brooklyn,

TONIGHT!: WEDNESDAY EVENING.

IF YOU ARE LURKING IN THE BOOKSTORE buying books about child vampires,

I HOPE YOU WILL SAY HELLO.

That is all.

John Hodgman not there, crossing the stage

ARCHIVAL IMAGE COURTESY: Mark_Baratelli

THE PAGELESS “AUDIOBACK” EDITION of MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE is now available on COMPACT DISK and as a VIRTUAL LOAD-DOWN.

THE “PAPERBACK” EDITION, MEANWHILE, is still being calligraphed, page-ironed, and spine-pasted. It will be available on NOVEMBER 3, in honor of LAIKA, space-dog.

I WILL INDEED SOON be reading from the book and, I guess, SPINNING THE AUDIOBACK CDS IN FRONT OF A LIGHT BULB, in a bookstore and/or cultural center and/or theater near you.

(THAT IS, if you live near New York City, Kansas City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ann Arbor, Dayton, Winston-Salem, and/or Miami).

YOU MUST FEEL NO OBLIGATION, but I do hope you will come by and say hello.

That is all.

IF YOU RECALL THIS, then you likely also recall that this book includes a feature entitled: “TODAY… IN THE PAST,” a useful page-a-day calendar that tells you A) THE DATE, which is handy to know; and B) A FACT THAT DID NOT HAPPEN ON THAT DATE, because I made it up.

NOW STARTING TODAY, October 27, of this year (2009…. YES, STILL!), you my also LOAD-DOWN this incredible calendar via iTunes COMPUTER PODCAST, absolutely for no charge. (Although, as before, I believe this applies to US users of iTunes only.)*

FINALLY: A PAGE-A-DAY CALENDAR WITHOUT ALL THOSE ANNOYING PAGES, but with such recognizable guest voices as S. Vowell and Z. Galifianakis. This is TODAY… IN THE PAST, exactly as it appears in the full AUDIOBACK edition, but sent to you:

RIGHT NOW, AUTOMATICALLY, FOR FREE, AND VERY, VERY SLOWLY OVER 365 DAYS, plus one for leap year.

That is all.

*(UPDATE: Reports are circulating that this podcast is in fact available in Canada, UK, Ireland, and New Zealand. BUT WHAT ABOUT AUSTRALIA?)

BUT WHERE is Huge Pacino?

ASK THEM.

THAT IS ALL.