I CANNOT EXPRESS my happiness for Henry Selick, Neil Gaiman, and all the crazy tiny-sweater-knitters and miniature-rat-wranglers, regarding the Oscar nomination of the film, CORALINE.

I HOPE THE ACADEMY LIKES CRYSTAL HEAD VODKA, because they are going to be getting a lot of it from me in a shameless attempt to buy their vote.

BUT BRIBERY IS NOT NECESSARY. It is an astonishing film, and I am so proud to be a part of it.

ONE TRAVESTY, however, is that THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS were not nominated for BEST SONG.

WITNESS:

THAT’S JOHN LINNELL SINGING, of course. Not me. I did record a version of the song, but thankfully, they came to their senses.

That is all.

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED that, by attending tonight’s reading at Barnes and Noble in Union Sq at 7PM, you might miss parts of the BIG BASES-BALL game tonight, fear not.

I WILL BE UPDATING YOU WITH ALL THE SCORES, ball-hittings, man-tagging, camera-striking, advertising, and other play-by-play excitement all night long,

AND MOSTLY BEFORE THE GAME EVEN BEGINS.

MEANWHILE, if you were wondering who took the photo of me holding a skull full of vodka in the back of the new paperback, HIS NAME IS SETH OLENICK.

HE HAS A “tum-blog” with a profane name I cannot print here; but it contains many good photographs of actual comedians, plus one of me, HITTING A CAR IN THE FACE.

That is all.