DAY THREE of reading my book into a microphone (OR TRICKING OTHER PEOPLE INTO DOING SO) is now complete.

MORE DAYS OF SAME to come, but it has been a delightful thrill so far. A THRILL CONTAINED IN A VERY SMALL, HOT, AIRLESS ROOM so that the thrill cannot escape.

YESTERDAY I WORE A TUXEDO in the booth, and I did my imitation of a ukulele-ist as well. I regret there are no photos of this, though plenty others exist.

BUT LET ME PAUSE NOW and say:

FRIENDS, IF YOU SUFFER FROM POOR MOOD AND ILL CONFIDENCE, you could do worse than walk around in a tuxedo with a UKULELE. It is a marvelous combination, which I dubbed on Twitter the TUXUKE, until enough members of the twitter HIVE MIND pointed out that that sounds like some sort of Japanese tuxedo/ukulele porn.

IT MADE ME RECALL that I don’t recall if Dent May rocked the full TUXULELE when we both appeared at the great THACKER MOUNTAIN RADIO in Oxford, MS last fall. But he clearly does own a tuxedo, as THIS EMBEDDED MEDIA will prove.

THAT IS ALL.

HELLO LAZY AND ILLITERATE FRIENDS! Go get a friend to read this imitation blog post to you, because you might find this news interesting.

YES: WE BEGIN RECORDING THE AUDIOBOOK OF “MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE” today.

BY WE, I mean: me and several surprise guests…

SOME OF WHOM will not be a surprise at all (COULTON!);

AND SOME OF WHOM will be a complete surprise… UNLESS YOU CHOSE THE POWER OF INVISIBILITY OVER FLIGHT AND ARE USING IT TO SPY ON ME.

(IN WHICH CASE, I SAY TO YOU: good job. You made the right choice.)

OTHERWISE, I SAY TO YOU: I cannot wait to see you all through the microphone as I record this “read-aloud version of a book for illiterate people and people too lazy to turn pages.”

That is all.