AS PREVIOUSLY NOTED ON TWITTER, whichever one of you internet users clued George RR Martin to the fact that I am/was reading GAME OF THRONES… THANKS.*

NOW I FEEL like I have George RR Martin staring at me as I read. (An illusion: it’s actually just some guy here in the internet cafe wearing a big fake Santa beard).

BUT THESE ARE BRILLIANTLY ADDICTIVE BOOKS, and I owe it all to the twitter recommendation of Mr. Matt Robinson.

WHICH IS WHY I HAVE NOT READ MR MATT ROBINSON’S NEW SCREENPLAY YET. I’m sorry, Matt, but you have only yourself to blame. And Peter Dinklage, of course. ALWAYS PETER DINKLAGE.

That is all.

*BE WARNED BEFORE YOU FOLLOW THAT LINK. George RR Martin uses livejournal, apparently because he is blogging from MEDIEVAL TIMES.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOATHE ADVERTISING, but there are a few disclosures I must make regarding products I USE and ENJOY.

FULL DISCLOSURE NUMBER ONE:

SOME OF YOU WERE DISTURBED the other week by COULTON’S TWITTER IMAGE of me wearing BLUE JEANS, which are pants made of a fabric from Nimes, France.

I WAS EQUALLY DISTURBED. Truly, I have not worn blue jeans since roughly 1988, when I wised up and realized I was a brown-pants man. And then for years I would wear Carhartt work pants, which were also fashioned of De-Nimes material, but only because they had that little pocket on the side which is perfect for an inhaler, and NEVER, EVER, in blue.

BUT THEN I DID MY SMALL PART AT LAST YEAR’S EMMY AWARDS, and because of this, I was invited to a magical subterranean bunker beneath the Nokia theater called “THE GIFTING LOUNGE.” Someday I will tell you all about this remarkable experience. Suffice to say that, along with an various hair care products, espresso machines, and jewels, I also received for my review TWO pairs of artfully distressed, blued jeans.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I did review them, and found them to be QUITE COMFORTABLE AND HANDSOME. And now that I’m on the Advair, I don’t really need an inhaler pocket anymore. So, in the spirit of full disclosure:

I GOT MY BLUE JEANS FOR FREE, from a West Coast jeans-smith called “Cult of Individuality.” I USE AND ENJOY THEM, and I am grateful.

***

FULL DISCLOSURE NUMBER TWO

FAITHFUL READERS OF THIS IMITATION BLOG know that, having crashed my own website repeatedly while linking to it Twitterphonically, I experimented with NEW INTERNET TECHNOLOGY to try to fix this problem.

SPECIFICALLY, my host, LiquidWeb, called and offered their cloud computing solution STORM ON DEMAND. I think this means that instead of being stored on a single regular computer, my whole website is instead stored on dozens of semi-mechanical, murderous black clouds on various uncharted islands.

THIS EXPERIMENT WAS SUCCESSFUL. So, in the spirit of full disclosure,

I AM USING STORM ON DEMAND FOR A REDUCED PRICE, and unless it grabs me and pulls me in to the woods to murder me, I will continue to USE AND ENJOY IT.

***

FULL DISCLOSURE NUMBER THREE

LAST NIGHT, I APPEARED ON THE KEITH OLBERMANN PROGRAM in order to teach him how to use Twitter, because it is the year 2008.

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT I WAS CLOTHED, specifically in a gray suit that I acquired from the wonderful Oregonian women of DUCHESS CLOTHIER.

I HAVE MENTIONED BEFORE THAT I AM FOND OF THEIR SUITINGS, so much so that, in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that

I HAPPILY PAY FULL PRICE FOR THE DUCHESS SUITS I USE AND ENJOY, and I will do so again, I hope soon.

AND NOW YOU TOO CAN GET THAT “HODGMAN NON-BLUE-JEANED LOOK” by visiting Duchess’s brand new INTERNET SHOP.

***

FINALLY, I realize I should point out that I didn’t get any money for mentioning my Advair inhaler above. IT MERELY ALLOWS ME TO LIVE.

That is all.

LAST WEEK, YOU MAY RECALL, my post regarding Blade Runner guns and heartwarming letters among and between Adam Savage, Philip K. Dick, and Jeff Walker, was PUNISHED by your kind curiosity, causing this imitation blog to FREQUENTLY FAIL TO IMITATE A BLOG.

I AM NOW PREPARED TO TEST NEW INTERNET TECHNOLOGY that, if all is well, should allow me to actually link to this imitation blog from time to time, and allow you, the HIVE MIND, to swarm all over this amazing, if belated, clip of….

TED LEO AND HIS PHARMACISTS

PLEASE ALERT ME IF YOU CANNOT SEE THIS MESSAGE the moment that you do not see it.

MEANWHILE, MY MANY THANKS AND HELLOS go to the lovely folks in the comments section of March 4, especially Ms. Rachel Walker, who claims to be the daughter of Jeff Walker.

AND I HAVE NO REASON TO DISBELIEVE HER!

THAT IS ALL.

PER @randazzoj THIS MORNING on Twitter,

EVERY NOW AND THEN, when bones are slow, I require myself to watch these film clips.

HERE IS CLIP ONE

AND HERE IS CLIP “HOMAGE”

THAT IS ALL

SINCE I AM ON VACATION, I have decided to only write the blandest, least witty/interesting/meaningul tweets possible.

That is all.