I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL this morning in which the television personality ADAM SAVAGE traced the provenance of his home-made Blade Runner gun.

COURTESY HIM, here is the original “hero” gun.

AND HERE IS the astonishing replica he made himself.

CAN YOU SPOT THE THREE DIFFERENCES? I doubt you can.*

WHILE READING ABOUT the hero gun, I noticed it came from the collection of Blade Runner publicist and geek marketing visionary Jeff Walker.

IF YOU HAVE NOT HEARD OF HIM, no worries. Neither did I until literally minutes ago, when I started googling him instead of doing my taxes.

AND DURING THAT GOOGLING, I came across this very sweet and also bittersweet document, a letter to Jeff Walker from Philip K. Dick regarding some footage of BLADE RUNNER Dick saw on television before he died….

THIS COMES COURTESY the Philip K. Dick Trust website.

I HAD NEVER KNOWN that Dick had any particular fondness for BLADE RUNNER, I found it heartening that, after a somewhat tormented life, and here, at what Dick perhaps did not know was the end of it, he is clearly so enthused.

BUT ALSO, I found the last line gasp-inducing; for in 1982, as he died, BLADE RUNNER was certainly not invincible.

INDEED, it had been VINCED PRETTY DAMN THOROUGHLY by ET.

BUT BY 2010, however, every one of Dick’s predictions for the film had eerily, impossibly come true. And what better legacy for a futurist?

*MEANWHILE, if you could not tell the difference between the actual gun and the Savage replica, the replica has a life span of only seven years, a bunch of fake memories, and it won’t flip over a turtle, EVEN IF IT IS DYING.

That is all.

IT IS FOR ONE REASON ONLY: because Paul F. Tompkins needs 300 of you to fight Persia to make comedy,

AND HE IS USING FACEBOOK to recruit you, city by city, not just to ATTEND one of his FAMOUS COMEDIAN SHOWS…

but also, in effect, by VOLUNTARY ACTION and EARLY COMMITMENT…

TO CAUSE THAT VERY COMEDIAN SHOW TO HAPPEN!

SCIENCE CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS. BUT PFT attempts to HERE. I paraphrase: if you and 299 of your friends commit to seeing Paul F. Tompkins perform in your town, HE WILL GO THERE, without asking any questions, and: HE WILL PERFORM.

RIGHT THIS MOMENT, New York City, is seeking roughly 150 additional Knights in Tompkins’s Service (KITS) in order to conjure his form HERE.

I WILL PERSONALLY BE THERE. And so, I hope, you will be, and we shall congratulate our good taste together, loudly, in the audience, UNTIL PAUL GETS VERY ANGRY AND TELLS US TO BE QUIET.

OR, IF YOU LIVE IN A DIFFERENT CITY, search the Facebook and see if someone has started a campaign to lure Tompkins with the promise of 300 souls. If not, START YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE to begin the ritual. Or search, #tompkins300.

LOOK, I know it is all somewhat confusing and decentralized, but that is the system that Paul has chosen, and though anarchic, I think you will find it EFFECTIVE and DELIGHTFUL once you have made this talented comedy person travel to your town a) BECAUSE HE IS FUNNY and b) BECAUSE YOU MADE IT TO HAPPEN.

IF YOU HAVE ANY LINGERING DOUBTS regarding the wisdom of this scheme, PLEASE REVIEW THIS INTERNET VIDEO of Paul F. Tompkins at the SF Sketchfest of last month:

CASE CLOSED

That is all.

I DIDN’T KNOW A YOUNG DAVID REES attended Hogwarts.

BUT PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE from the chamber of secrets says:

IT IS SO.

That is all.

MISTRESS OF SPAMASTERPIECE THEATER and all around PLATINUM-HEARTED HUMAN, Xeni Jardin visits Jordan! Jesse! GO!

LET’S GO

The Sound of Young America

That is all.

ATTN: PEOPLE OF MILWAUKEE

I SO VERY RARELY GET TO TYPE THOSE WORDS, but I am glad to do so now, because the Internet has told me:

THE COMEDIAN PATRICK BORELLI is in your city TONIGHT.

SPECIFICALLY, he will be presenting his lovingly curated collection of HORRIBLE BOOK COVERS, using slide projection and his very own voice.

AS REVEALED IN THIS INTERVIEW, I have seen Patrick do this before, and I am using this imitation blog to tell you: IT IS GOOD.

THIS IS ALL HAPPENING at 6PM THIS EVENING at the “Jackalope Lounj,” so named for the legendary jackalope’s legendarily poor spelling skills.

IT IS GOOD THAT IT IS SO EARLY, because then you can take Patrick out to dinner.

IF YOU ARE NOT IN MILWAUKEE, you may still use the Internet to watch below, as Patrick interviews several very good and successful book jacket designers (INCLUDING CHIP KIDD) about good and bad book design, including the INCREDIBLY UNFORTUNATELY TITLED BOOK:

“COOKING WITH POOH.”

You Should Judge A Book By Its Cover Interstitial Video #1 from pborelli on Vimeo.

THAT IS ALL.