Has sexy time with your partner hit the skids? It’s a pretty common problem amongst couples. In fact, a whopping 45% of Americans say they’re bored with their sex lives.
Maybe you’re simply too busy or stressed out dealing with work and your kids, or maybe you’ve just gotten yourselves in a rut. Whatever the reasons, you and your partner can overcome it with a little creativity. Here are some tips on how to improve your private playtime if you’ve become bored with sex.
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Communicate With Your Partner
As awkward as it may feel at first, you may need to tactfully let your partner know that you would like to switch it up in the bedroom a bit. Your partner is not a mind reader and may have no idea that you’ve grown tired of the same old foreplay routine or intercourse position. If you’re craving oral sex and want them to perform it in a certain way, let them know what a turn-on this would be for you, especially if it’s coming from them.
Just be polite about it—no one wants to hear that they’re lousy in bed, and most people just haven’t tried new techniques. And you still need to be respectful of their own wishes and desires and be willing to compromise. If they’re not turned on by certain things such as anal sex, you’re probably not going to change their mind.
Don’t forget to ask your partner what they want in the bedroom as well. This needs to be about both people feeling secure, happy, and satisfied beneath the sheets.
Start the Foreplay Early
Good sex is all about getting the other person hot, bothered, and ready and for women especially, this means plenty of foreplay. Foreplay doesn’t have to begin in the bedroom. It can start with sexy, suggestive texts, emails, and voicemails that you send your partner during the day.
Telling them how badly you want them and that you can’t wait to feel a certain body part of theirs on you can get your partner worked up and ready for action when they come home. Plus this shows that you are putting them first and making them a priority even during a busy workday. They’ll be savoring the waiting all day.
Don’t Be Afraid to Initiate
90% of men over the age of 50 wish that their female partner would initiate sex more often. But this isn’t something that only older people desire. Initiating sex makes the other person feel desired and wanted.
So when things have gotten into a rut, don’t be afraid to send the strong message that you want your partner—now! It may just be all your sex life needs to get things back on track.
Try a Little Roleplaying
Ever have a fantasy about being punished by a teacher or frisked by a sexy cop? Maybe it’s time to try roleplaying with your partner. This is a fun way to try out a fantasy with your partner and make sex more interesting.
The great thing about roleplaying is that it can be as tame or as kinky as the two of you want it to be. Dressing up in costume only adds to the experience. You’ll also discover insight into your partner about what truly turns them on.
Don’t know where to start? Here are five ideas for roleplaying that can get your hormones surging.
Test Out a Sex Toy
When most people hear the words “sex toy“, they think of battery-powered orgasm inducers and S&M restraints. But sex toys can include lubricants, massagers, and sexy card games. In other words, there’s something for every couple from tame to kinky and they can all add a little oomph to your bedroom action.
Visit a sex shop or shop online together to find a few goodies you think you may want to try out.
Many people feel intimidated or embarrassed by the thought of talking dirty to their partner. Yet sometimes just saying what you’re thinking can be the fastest way to turn the both of you on. Dirty talk can be an important part of foreplay.
Just keep in mind that your partner may have limits on how filthy the words coming out of your mouth should be. Some people don’t mind the usual slang words for private body parts while others may want alternatives used.
Like sex toys, talking dirty can run the gamut from gentle to really raunchy. Experiment to find out what words and phrases your partner responds to best. Don’t forget to include dirty talk in foreplay that starts when you’re not even in the bedroom.
Try a New Position
It’s easy to fall into the same routine and have sex the same way, especially when you’re both too busy to put a lot of thought into it. However, the Kama Sutra gave us dozens of intercourse positions to try. Being penetrated from a different angle can open up a new way of being stimulated for you both.
So don’t be afraid to try the cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, congress of the cow, and the many other positions out there to find your ideal groove.
Have Sex in a New Place
Trying sex in a new setting or place can also make things more exciting. Your home is a good place to let your imagination run wild. Have sex in the shower, on a desk or the dishwasher, or in the backseat of a car.
If you’re really daring, you can even try sneaking in some shagging in a public place such as under a blanket in the park (if you’re absolutely sure there’s no chance you’ll get caught.)
You Don’t Have to Stay Bored With Sex
If you’re bored with sex, just know that the situation can be changed around. These ideas above should help get the blood pumping and may spark some other spicy ideas!
For more tips on keeping the flame in your relationship burning, check out our latest health posts.