That is all.

I HOPE THE ACADEMY LIKES CRYSTAL HEAD VODKA, because they are going to be getting a lot of it from me in a shameless attempt to buy their vote.

BUT BRIBERY IS NOT NECESSARY. It is an astonishing film, and I am so proud to be a part of it.

ONE TRAVESTY, however, is that THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS were not nominated for BEST SONG.

WITNESS:

THAT’S JOHN LINNELL SINGING, of course. Not me. I did record a version of the song, but thankfully, they came to their senses.

That is all.

I HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE.

SPECIFICALLY, I will attempt to see you at these locations:

ON SATURDAY, at 2PM, at Cobb’s Comedy Club, where I will once again be having a conversation on stage with DAVE EGGERS, a tradition I refer to as “THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT,” and then taking your questions.

PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME FAMILIARITY WITH THE TELEVISION MOVIE “MAZES AND MONSTERS” will be helpful at this event.

AND THEN LATER ON SATURDAY, at 10:30PM, at The Eureka Theater, I will be visiting with the famous feral boy/famous sketch comedy troupe “KASPER HAUSER.”

AND THEN ON SUNDAY, at 9pm, at the Mezzanine, I will join H. Jon Benjamin and Todd Barry, aka THE RED WINE BOYS.

I MAY ALSO SEE YOU at other places in San Francisco: ALCATRAZ! FISHERMAN’S WHARF! EATING RICE PILAF ON TOP OF THE FAMOUS CABLE CARS! OR OTHER COMEDY CLUBS! Oh, it truly is a city of prisons and bread bowls and strange trolleys and ha ha, right there by the bay.

UNTIL THEN

That is all.

I SHALL RETURN TOMORROW with links to things of interest, including the upcoming SF SKETCHFEST.

AND FOR NOW, you will just have to live with the mystery of why I suddenly have a peg leg and am president of the colonies.

That is all.

EVERY NOW AND THEN, when bones are slow, I require myself to watch these film clips.

HERE IS CLIP ONE

AND HERE IS CLIP “HOMAGE”

THAT IS ALL

THEN I RECEIVED A LINK to this performance in which Weird Al sings with THREE OF FOUR PIXIES, which you must admit is a pretty good average.

W. AL SOUNDS GOOD, do not you think?

ALTHOUGH I hope he secretly changed the words to “I PEED” at least once.

IN ANY CASE, this amazing crossover event was brought to you by a good and HEARTBREAKING CAUSE. You can find out more HERE.

That is all.

AS I HEAD OUT TO THE SATURNALIA COURT at the Mall of America, perhaps you will enjoy this classic holiday tale from MAC AND PC.

ALSO, AS YOU ARE SHOPPING: may I recommend WASHINGTON WALNUTS and BACON SCARVES?

(WHY am I asking you for permission? I TAKE IT BACK.)

SO, whether you like it or not: WASHINGTON WALNUTS and BACON SCARVES.

That is all.

MR. DICK CAVETT and I have more in common than merely my audioback book.

WITNESS:

THAT IS ALL.

SOMETIMES THE INTERNET COMES DIRECTLY TO MY HOUSE. As you will see below.

I ENJOYED VERY MUCH the visit from Alex and Kevin Internet. You should invite them over!

That is all.

VALLEY LODGE!

That is all.